August, 23rd, 2016

When Breath Becomes Air. 

How does one go about a love letter written to life? I can’t think of another book that brought me so close to the soul of another person without meeting them. I read this book in a matter of two days, not because I couldn’t finish it in a matter of one sitting, but it was too insightful, too raw, too relevant that I needed to pause for a moment and reflect on what Kalanithi was trying to tell me: about life, death, about not living an unexamined life, that even though you’re dying, until you actually die, you’re still living, that your values & priorities are constantly changing as you live. I feel that the mark of a really good book is to when it makes me think critically of my own views, my own values when it causes me to pause and truly reflect on someone else’s moments of impact. This book is one of those books where you’ll have to re-read a passage several times to ponder what exactly he was feeling, you’ll shed a lot of tears, sad and happy ones. Many might find this book depressing, I guess it depends on what life experiences and attitude you bring to the world, but honestly, I find it quite the opposite of depressing. Kalanithi wasn’t explaining how to die, he was explaining how to live. how to truly live. This book is about chasing time and not wasting. But I guess the real question of this book is: we’re confronted with mortality every day, whether we admit it or not, but it’s not how long, but rather how we will live & that’s the question Kalanithi was trying to insistently answer.

I’m constantly asked why I’m always drawn to “depressing” books in which involve short lives & death, books about mortality. I think the constant thought ever since I lost a parent at a young age is death. But really, it’s not because I’m drawn to death, but it’s because I believe the dead are the ones who have the most to teach us about life & how to live. I guess I’m looking for the same answers Kalanithi was trying to find.

Almost 90% of the population ask the golden question, whenever anything bad happens in our lives, whether it’s small or big – screaming out of our lungs WHY ME? but not a terminally ill cancer patient. The question Kalanithi asked himself was: Why not me? I guess that made me admire him even more. But I guess none of us will know until it happens to them, can a person prepare for death anyway?

I mourn the death of this surgeon of great potential, but most importantly, an amazing writer who died too soon with losing the chance to finish this book & continue writing more raw beautiful books. But the message he has left us is quite eloquently simple: make life as meaningful as you can in the time you have. Be grateful for every second. Kalanithi was a successful surgeon with all the opportunities in life in front of him, but he always yearned for literature and writing. I wonder if he hadn’t gotten sick, would he have pursued writing and finding answers for the one question he kept asking himself since he was young? Was his last wish granted (writing a book) at an expense of a short life? And I wonder & the earth is still spinning around the sun.

I recommend this book to anyone and everyone. Although you might have a lot of scientific words that you won’t understand, they’re easy to learn.

Rest in peace Paul. Thanks for reminding us how to live.

“I can’t go on, I will go on.”